When Perfectionism and Procrastination Meet

So many of us professionals suffer from perfectionism or procrastination. But what if we are actually in a complex relationship with both? When one feeds the other, how will we ever survive this thing called adulthood?

WHAT DOES PERFECTIONISM LOOK LIKE?

Perfectionism can be either a tool or a detriment. It is an internal pressure to maintain the appearance of having it all together. Perfectionists do not want to make mistakes, fail, disappoint, or appear less than, well, perfect. As soon as we are put in school, the competition for excellent grades, among so many other social aspects down to who has the newest shoes, begins. The habit loops to survive this environment are formed. It doesn't help that social media and the current job market have skyrocketed the anxiety to be perfect in every way. 

For some, perfectionism is the drive to be the best employee, the best business owner, the best, period. To be as error-free as humanly possible, balanced with a healthy perspective of how to get things done responsibly and reduce stress while getting to near-perfection. But this so often becomes an unhealthy expectation of oneself. 

This fear of failure to be perfect manifests more often not in getting ahead of what is feared, but in putting it off for as long as possible. As backward as that would seem to be, it is unfortunately very common. And very stressful. Perfectionism turns into an all-or-nothing mindset, that whatever it is, it must be perfect or it isn’t worth doing at all. But the ultimate fear still remains of missing a deadline, creating in a lot of people a cycle of procrastination emergencies. 

WHAT DOES PROCRASTINATION LOOK LIKE?

Procrastination is, in a simple definition, the purposeful putting off of something that does not need to be put off. This could be a phone call, a daily chore, a doctor’s visit, a senior thesis, etc. If it isn’t an emergency today, it can be done tomorrow. But these things put off until “tomorrow” are continually pushed out, until finally they become an emergency. For example, doing the laundry can be delayed a few days when life gets in the way of chores, when washing and folding and putting away neatly can feel like way too much to get done. But if it is delayed a month, it becomes a physical and emotional monster. 

Not all procrastination is related to perfectionism. There are certain tasks that have nothing to do with being perfect. There is nothing perfect or imperfect about paying a bill, except for making sure it’s on time. This is simply a do-or-do-not task. But that is still enough pressure to cause the habitual groove to rear its frustrating head. In the same vein, not all perfectionism leads to procrastination. 

WHEN THE TWO MEET: A PERFECT STORM

The relationship between the issues of perfectionism and procrastination begin to feel obvious once they are listed out. But what comes first, the chicken or the egg? Procrastination, or perfectionism? Or do they work in exact tandem to catch us in a storm of our own making? Some experts consider the relationship a loop, an ongoing struggle that feeds itself and is hard to get out of. 

All or Nothing

Many of us who fit the description of both procrastinator and perfectionist have trained ourselves to be able to put anything off until the last minute, and still “get an A” by metaphorically or literally pulling an all-nighter. School is such a great example of both perfectionism and procrastination, as it is mostly where we ingrain both into our habits. We are taught to see anything below an A+ as a failure, leading to the mindset of either flourishing or failing, with no grace for the realistic in between. 

Time Mismanagement

Time management is another aspect that perfectionistic procrastinators struggle with. This often comes from thinking you know how much time something will take, and so you leave that exact amount of time to get the task finished. So often, someone who does this will be correct, setting that habit even deeper through reinforcement. An inner voice rationalizes this habit by telling you that you do your best work under pressure, once the adrenaline kicks in. But this leaves no room for error, no room for real life occurring during that last crunch of time. 

This form of time management, if calculated incorrectly, can cause terrible stress. It could even cause a failure so big that it changes someone’s life. Not studying for a test until the night before, which results in failure of a class, which results in repeating a grade, which can cause social embarrassment as well as academic delay.

Another part of time mismanagement is the “planning phase” of a project where so many of us perfectionistic procrastinators start off. And spend too much time. We get caught up in the grand plan of something amazing and, of course, perfect. But so often, this grand plan becomes part of the overwhelm that then stalls progress. 

Pressure and Mindset 

This relationship is complicated, and is fed by many factors. Most often we experience the maladaptive version of perfectionism as procrastination, which is caused by more external factors than internal. Studies show that the more internal the perfectionism, it seems the more adaptive and proactive it will be. This is possibly because with internal perfectionism, the person you are disappointing is yourself. External perfectionism is pressure and expectation from family, friends, spouse, teachers, boss, etc., leading to a mindset of there being more to lose from not being perfect. This is what most often causes the maladaptive behavior of procrastinating what is expected out of fear of failure. 

TIPS TO OVERCOME THE RECIPE FOR DISASTER 

Eat the Frog 

Some people have overcome their fears by eating the frog. If you haven’t heard of this method, the “frog” is the most difficult task of the day before anything else. Maybe your frog for the day is dishes, maybe it’s making an appointment. Whatever it is, identify the frog, and start with it. Everything else after will feel easier, and the anxious anticipation will be gone. 

How to Eat an Elephant

Conversely, if the “frog” is just too much and it needs to be worked up to, find a piece to nibble on. This method is often referenced as how to eat an elephant, instead. A large task can be broken down into bits to chew on. A small bit of progress often starts the momentum and confidence to do the task that feels too big to tackle. What small thing can you do today that chips away at the seemingly giant task? Progress is what gives us the push to continue. One bite at a time!

Do it Badly

The most important thing to remember is that done is better than perfect. So what if there’s a typo, if the alternative is that the wonderful book you’re writing is never published? Give yourself permission to make mistakes, to do it badly. Errors will occur no matter if something is procrastinated or not, and the more buffer time there is for a due date, the more likely it is that the project or task can be perfected. 

CONCLUSION

Perfectionism and procrastination form a complicated relationship that leads to frustrating life outcomes. It is a good thing to know you are capable of greatness, but this must be balanced with realistic expectations and time management to fulfill those expectations. It can be incredibly difficult to unlearn this behavior cycle. But there are ways to break these habits and form more helpful structures. Most of the solution is to work on self-awareness.  Learning your own behavior patterns, seeing when procrastination will arise, and then finding the ways to get ahead of fear or to simplify what feels overwhelming, can help a lot. 

Unrealized potential is much scarier than a few mistakes. 

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